"Do not lose your cool. Do not lose your cool." She grumbled this under her breath like a mantra as she stared into the claustrophobic confines of the air duct. She took a deep breath, probably the last unrestricted one she'd enjoy for awhile. It exited her body as a sigh.
Her radio took this as a cue to crackle to life. "Don't be like that baby, we gotta test the suit."
We??? Do not lose your cool. "Really J, this doesn't even merit an infiltration trial. I could have looked at this abomination on the rack and told you it wasn't going to work. I mean, it doesn't even zip all the way up." She found this last part especially hard to believe, considering the seventeen unique measurements taken of her chest as well as a plaster cast.
"Growing girl eh? Noted. We can take new measurements afterwards. I think weighing each breast separately would help with the fitting process."
God damn it! She walked right into that one. She wasn't thinking clearly. It was this damn suit. So distracting. Her head ached from the overpowering smell of latex and the talcum powder needed to don it. Now it was sweat slick and smoldering inside. Her skin couldn't breathe and she was certain she possessed the World's Most Severe Wedgie (in addition to wickedly embarrassingly camel toe). Yet it was vital to remain calm. "J, this is not stealthy. Yes it's black, but it's glossy. And it squeaks when I move. That's sort of a drawback." Actually it sounded like a room full of clowns tying off balloon animals at the mere thought of moving, but she didn't want to supply him with that imagery. "No gloves either. I'm leaving prints everywhere."
"Gloves, check. Maybe I should start exploring PVC materials. Hmm... possibly a vinyl ski mask too..." There was a scrabble of furious note taking over the line.
GRAH! She wanted to unleash on his sorry ass! But no, that's what he wanted. She had made that mistake once and she could actually hear him moaning with glee over her admonishments. Later she learned he has a thing for black chicks with British accents. There were so many factors working against her when dealing with J. Another of which was that he was the program's golden boy, coming up with all sorts of high tech gadgetry deemed invaluable by the administration, making him difficult to bring to task for sexual harassment. 'All geniuses are eccentric,' they said. Well, not all geniuses were creepy little perverts still in braces either. Be calm. She put a hand to her furrowed brow and spoke into her mic "The latex is sticky. I'm not going to make it through the vent."
"Way ahead of you, babe." A light went on in the room illuminating an economy sized jug of baby oil.
Agent 80085 gritted her teeth. Do not lose your cool. Do not lose your cool.
Given Agent 80085's dimensions what WOULD be a structurally effective spy suit for her? Given her radical surface area might there be the opportunity for those headlights to instead be listening devices?
If 80085 passed combat training and physicals then she has the fortitude to properly maneuver, it's the inertia that will be her biggest danger. Damn woot now you've got me thinking of her in a Gi taking hand to hand combat drills.
id like to see her fight a super villan. how about someone like a female dr. evil... oh and you can call her silver eye! like goldeneye 007 only genaric!!! lolz! and she can have a bbw minion thats like a female oddjob! rofl!
Her radio took this as a cue to crackle to life. "Don't be like that baby, we gotta test the suit."
We??? Do not lose your cool. "Really J, this doesn't even merit an infiltration trial. I could have looked at this abomination on the rack and told you it wasn't going to work. I mean, it doesn't even zip all the way up." She found this last part especially hard to believe, considering the seventeen unique measurements taken of her chest as well as a plaster cast.
"Growing girl eh? Noted. We can take new measurements afterwards. I think weighing each breast separately would help with the fitting process."
God damn it! She walked right into that one. She wasn't thinking clearly. It was this damn suit. So distracting. Her head ached from the overpowering smell of latex and the talcum powder needed to don it. Now it was sweat slick and smoldering inside. Her skin couldn't breathe and she was certain she possessed the World's Most Severe Wedgie (in addition to wickedly embarrassingly camel toe). Yet it was vital to remain calm. "J, this is not stealthy. Yes it's black, but it's glossy. And it squeaks when I move. That's sort of a drawback." Actually it sounded like a room full of clowns tying off balloon animals at the mere thought of moving, but she didn't want to supply him with that imagery. "No gloves either. I'm leaving prints everywhere."
"Gloves, check. Maybe I should start exploring PVC materials. Hmm... possibly a vinyl ski mask too..." There was a scrabble of furious note taking over the line.
GRAH! She wanted to unleash on his sorry ass! But no, that's what he wanted. She had made that mistake once and she could actually hear him moaning with glee over her admonishments. Later she learned he has a thing for black chicks with British accents. There were so many factors working against her when dealing with J. Another of which was that he was the program's golden boy, coming up with all sorts of high tech gadgetry deemed invaluable by the administration, making him difficult to bring to task for sexual harassment. 'All geniuses are eccentric,' they said. Well, not all geniuses were creepy little perverts still in braces either. Be calm. She put a hand to her furrowed brow and spoke into her mic "The latex is sticky. I'm not going to make it through the vent."
"Way ahead of you, babe." A light went on in the room illuminating an economy sized jug of baby oil.
Agent 80085 gritted her teeth. Do not lose your cool. Do not lose your cool.