There was a bright light, and he walked towards it. The footfalls echoing inside the corridor subsided, and suddenly he found himself under the limitless canopy of Heaven.
He proceeded to the base of a gleaming gate. The key in his hand was his reward for a life of virtuous deeds. An eternity in paradise awaited him.
But suddenly his passage was blocked by a ravishingly Rubenesque seraph. The width of this creature was remarkable, making the task of getting around her a challenge. But he made no effort to circumvent her. He found it difficult to do anything but stare.
She was breathless, panting, her undersized wings fluttering, she bobbed in the air, every rounded inch of her a-quiver. She flitted closer to him, eyes narrowing in a smoldering gaze. She turned her body, expertly shifting her hips to cause a jiggle storm to dance across the twin spheres of her ass. She spoke in a husky voice. "You don't happen to have a key do you? I feel so confined." She pouted, gesturing to a golden lock securing her bra with a quick look back.
He gripped the key tighter. He had to be careful. This could be some sort of test. "Can I have it back when you're done?"
"You know, you're the first person to ask me that."
"Well?"
She frowned. "No. Does it matter?"
He tore his eyes away from her expansive rear to look once more at the Gate of Heaven. "Sort of. You're not really an angel, are you?"
"No. I'm legally obliged to tell you that. Otherwise I get sued to bejeezus and back."
This is doubly-amusing to me, as this site gets absolutely swamped with spam that uses "Praise the Lord!" and "I highly enjoyed the Prayers on this site" as it's attempts to fool automated spam catchers. Happily, I'm smarter than a spam filter, but it's still funny.
Quirky but cute. Although if I remember correctly a seraphim has 6 massive wings not 2, which I supposed if we go by this being the Christian heaven then he should have realized it.
This wouldn't happen to be loosely based on a Twilight Zone episode, would it? Something about dogs not being allowed in Heaven so the guy wanders Limbo for all eternity to be with his friend, I think it ends happily but I forget the details.
The twilight episode was where a man and his dog died and wandering the road of eternity he found Heaven but was told he couldn't bring his dog with him. If I recall the dog made an awful ruckus outside of Heaven. So he said screw that and wandered the road some more and came upon the REAL Heaven. It turns out the devil was trying to trick the man into entering hell instead but the dog was too clever and caught whiff of the brimstone. The moral of the story is, if you have to die, bring the family dog with you.
hmm... that is a tough choice, heaven or, her boobs, of course, if I could spend an eternity with her, that'd be heaven enough ^_^! oh and, CURSE YOU SERAPHIM!!!!!!
He proceeded to the base of a gleaming gate. The key in his hand was his reward for a life of virtuous deeds. An eternity in paradise awaited him.
But suddenly his passage was blocked by a ravishingly Rubenesque seraph. The width of this creature was remarkable, making the task of getting around her a challenge. But he made no effort to circumvent her. He found it difficult to do anything but stare.
She was breathless, panting, her undersized wings fluttering, she bobbed in the air, every rounded inch of her a-quiver. She flitted closer to him, eyes narrowing in a smoldering gaze. She turned her body, expertly shifting her hips to cause a jiggle storm to dance across the twin spheres of her ass. She spoke in a husky voice. "You don't happen to have a key do you? I feel so confined." She pouted, gesturing to a golden lock securing her bra with a quick look back.
He gripped the key tighter. He had to be careful. This could be some sort of test. "Can I have it back when you're done?"
"You know, you're the first person to ask me that."
"Well?"
She frowned. "No. Does it matter?"
He tore his eyes away from her expansive rear to look once more at the Gate of Heaven. "Sort of. You're not really an angel, are you?"
"No. I'm legally obliged to tell you that. Otherwise I get sued to bejeezus and back."
"Well then why would I give you my key?"
She shrugged. "I'll let you touch my boob."
"Shit, can't argue with that! Sold!"