Totally Legit News

Totally Legit News
Though her footsteps wavered on her way to her husband's desk, Anita Fairfield's voice was pure confidence and triumph. "Your whore daughter made it into the paper again." She slid the tabloid over to Daniel and watched with glee as his coolly aloof expression imploded into a purpling squall of outrage. He hated seeing his daughter in print. Anita enjoyed it immensely.

"What? Morgan? I thought I bought out all the damn newspapers in this town! Where did you find this new one?"

"By the checkout lane in the grocery store."

He looked up from the picture and narrowed his eyes as he inspected his wife. "Sneaking out because you depleted your stock of cheap vodka, eh? Well, it's 10 AM, getting to be that time of day," he shrugged. "I don't know why I'm allowing myself to get so worked up over this- the story is right next to one admitting they don't even know how fucking magnets work. More slop for the mouth breathing savages. No one of substance will believe any of this."

Pfft- it didn't matter to him that his horrible daughter actually *was* trapped in her own fleshy prison, as long as it appeared fake. Anita knew he liked having her out of the spotlight, and rightly so; before the incident, Morgan was a walking PR nightmare. The family had hemorrhaged millions in damages, legal fees, drug fueled parties, and lengthy rehabilitations. The Fairfield name had been dragged through the mud by that unrepentant monster child.

How convenient that she suddenly developed this mysterious affliction that transformed her into a homebody. Anita knew that somehow, Daniel was responsible. She took a defiant sip of vodka and tried to bait an admission out of him.

"Hmmm, I see that it's also next to an article about a genie. Interesting. Isn't that what Morgan said started this whole mess?"

"A fairy. No, an imp. Hell, fucking Santa Claus; whatever- she's not well." Daniel's head jerked up and he gave her an intensely suspicious look. He spoke with hostility. "All I know is that is happened out of the goddamn blue."


Fadflamer on
Those poor folks and their dilemmas. Although they both probably deserve that.

Jerkface on
WORDS, SO MANY SIMILAR WORDS!

SpellPolice on
The link led me to a GLARING error in "Christmas Wish 5"
The TV report has Morgan's name misspelled.

Alex on
those ICP references on the top had me chuckling like a retard for some reason

I DON'T NEED NO SCIENTISTS TELLIN' ME LIES

Melissa on
You think she'd of died by now or something.

Someone on
Where can I purchase a copy of this?

Anonymous on
I think Morgan should get a treatment like the bismark girl. I just love bitchy looking fat girls P:

Djoser on
Nice to see this one here...specially because she got that big...even more tha nMelanie moons i think :D. I had a small criticism but i said it over the melon stand so i won't repeat it here ^^; sorry.

Baconman on
Nice one~ especially a fan of your hidden signature there.

myrmidon on
Woot, you have raised the bar of classy to a whole nother' level.

woot on
Thanks myrmidon, I'd like to think that nothing says classy like room filling breasts, cheap supermarket tabloids, and ICP jokes :]

???? on
What made me laugh the most is that, aside from the magnet thing, everything on the paper is actually true in the Woot-Universe. So, in a sense, it really is mostly legit news.

Zock on
Even to this day, I still can't help but feel sorry for Morgan. Even more so now that I know her father's a jerk who was glad to be rid of her.

???? on
I just now relized that her butt is bigger too; no really, compare this picture with #4.

TJ on
The ICP references were what made this completely great, almost too over the top.

formorian5 on
Another reason massive boobs are awesome. They are equally suitble as rewards and as punishment. I honestly thought Morgan was gone for good, but I guess she's too big to ignore.

Somebody on
I like this. Those tabloids, when will they learn.
Water, fire, air and dirt...

anon on
@????

Well, I doubt she's getting much exercise with those two zeppelins attached to her front.

???? on
@anon

Yeah, I figured that was the case; I just wanted to point that out in case no one else did. Granted, I'm not complaining at all, just the opposite.

Somebody on
Anyone notice how the pants she's wearing are the same ones she wore in the original pictures with her? This picture might be from when she was rescued by the firefighters.

vader7476 on
I would love to see how the lack of exercise is affecting her. Making her fatter, boobs even bigger. Really hope we get to see it! :)

Be1amazing on
I like how totallylegitnews.com has an actual page, almost...

Miss Selainie on
Is this in lieu of a new series, Woot? Revisiting ones who have gone before? Either way, high approval. ^_^

woot on
Morgan's wearing the same clothes just for character recognition purposes. I guess that's not as important when there's a link to the old miniseries available, but I wanted people who were familiar with it to make the connection right away. I'm not sure when this "photo" was taken. I'm guessing it's fairly recent though.

That's a good observation Miss Selainie. Going back and revisiting old stories and characters is my way of embellishing the world without creating a whole new series. Hopefully it's fun for people to see things become more interconnected. Of course, there'll be new stuff along the way as well :]

Somebody on
HAHAHA, magnets! How do they work?

Miss Selainie on
It works. I've always enjoyed your ideas and art, and this just helps refine both. ^_^

Keep up the good work. Whatever your choices, you have a loyal following. ^_^

daidekapai on
@Somebody: Don't go talking to those scientists. Those mo'fo's is lying and getting me pissed.

Monty on
FUCKING MIRACLES!

Somebody on
http://totallylegitnews.com/

HOLY SHIT!

Anon 5 on
As a member of the LDS community, I can tell you:


Magnets are dug up from the earth,
They are metals that contain bits of gravity... :D

v on
SCIENTISTS CAUGHT LYING!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!

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