Today's victim is from Minimum Wage. "I would have made it here sooner, but I had to wait for my shift to end. Forced to work after something traumatic like this happens; can you believe that?" The defeated girl slumped over the detective's desk so that only the googly-eyed head of the chicken costume she was wearing was visible.
The effect was comic, but he knew that after all this poor girl had probably been through, laughing would be disastrous. "There's a lot I wouldn't have believed before this crazy week. Now though-," he raised his hands, a gesture of helplessness that was wasted on the beaked head before him. "We know that a terrorist organization called FLAT is behind this. We've had several reports of abductions and releases after..."
Her head sprung up, almost dislodging the ridiculous hood. "Wait, abductions?"
"So far all the victims have been captured and released after their busts were somehow siphoned away."
"That's not what happened with me. I was just standing on the sidewalk outside advertising for Chick'n Shack. A van pulled up, the back doors opened and I got shot right in the boobs with a taser. At least I thought it was one. Don't ask me how long I was out, my manager dumped a glass of water in my face and told me to get back to work. He also charged me for my old uniform which I had stretched out." She balled up her fists, shaking with rage. "Ooh I could have killed him! I should have jammed this stupid chicken suit into the deep fryer and quit right there! But I didn't." Once again she collapsed onto the desk.
This was unwelcome news. Now FLAT had a man-portable (or in this case, woman-portable) device capable of obliterating bustlines. "Did the weapon you were hit with leave any prong marks?"
She mistakenly took this as a cue to stand up and unzip the suit to her navel. Her skin was unblemished. "No," she said, zipping up again. Barely audible she added: "are you going to catch them?"
They need to be stopped. At first, they were just a group of flat-chested women trying to convince the world boobs were bad. Now, they're obliterating bustlines left and right. I'd like to see a follow up of the girls getting their boobs back plus interest! That'd show FLAT who's boss!
If only there was a group of busty superbeings to combat this threat!, such as, I dunno, Jenna Justice, a seven foot tall gene-mod super soldier, a witch or three... where would we find such a gathering?
also, those nurses from "misplaced meds" must be raking in the dough.
I assure you we will find, capture, and, punish those who are responsible for this travesty. And if those responsible for this are reading this now.... IT AINT FUNNY NO MORE GIVE US BACK OUR BREASTS!!!!!
If FLAT is an underground terrorist organization, militant force will bring unwelcomed negative publicity. If anything, if we attempt to BE them, they may have what it takes to make themselves flat again. I say that we should peacibly nego-....they flattened HER?! WHAT IS THIS HERESY?! GIVE THEM TITS THAT'LL NEVER LET THEM MOVE AGAIN WITHOUT ORGASMING!
Observant Dude - This occurred to me too, unless FLAT is storing the stolen mass inertly somehow, and then it is a matter of how much storage space they have available, and whether or not it needs to be tightly sealed.
True. Physics says matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, it mearly changes forms. Those F.L.A.T. bitches must be hoarding breasts for themselves!
It's amazing how nostalgic this all is. Judging by the comments people have a lot of favourites from way way back. Here's hoping Officer Martinez uses her police wit and Latino charm to escape the FLAT fate...
All I can say is, if they come near the Milk and Cookies girls, I will have a few words to say about this. Harsh, hurtful words, that will not be nice. No indeed.
"I would have made it here sooner, but I had to wait for my shift to end. Forced to work after something traumatic like this happens; can you believe that?" The defeated girl slumped over the detective's desk so that only the googly-eyed head of the chicken costume she was wearing was visible.
The effect was comic, but he knew that after all this poor girl had probably been through, laughing would be disastrous. "There's a lot I wouldn't have believed before this crazy week. Now though-," he raised his hands, a gesture of helplessness that was wasted on the beaked head before him. "We know that a terrorist organization called FLAT is behind this. We've had several reports of abductions and releases after..."
Her head sprung up, almost dislodging the ridiculous hood. "Wait, abductions?"
"So far all the victims have been captured and released after their busts were somehow siphoned away."
"That's not what happened with me. I was just standing on the sidewalk outside advertising for Chick'n Shack. A van pulled up, the back doors opened and I got shot right in the boobs with a taser. At least I thought it was one. Don't ask me how long I was out, my manager dumped a glass of water in my face and told me to get back to work. He also charged me for my old uniform which I had stretched out." She balled up her fists, shaking with rage. "Ooh I could have killed him! I should have jammed this stupid chicken suit into the deep fryer and quit right there! But I didn't." Once again she collapsed onto the desk.
This was unwelcome news. Now FLAT had a man-portable (or in this case, woman-portable) device capable of obliterating bustlines. "Did the weapon you were hit with leave any prong marks?"
She mistakenly took this as a cue to stand up and unzip the suit to her navel. Her skin was unblemished. "No," she said, zipping up again. Barely audible she added: "are you going to catch them?"
"Yes ma'am, I believe we will."