Milk! Milk! Go Harder!

Milk! Milk! Go Harder!
About a year ago, I received an email from the opposite side of the Pacific Rim. Studio MOMO wanted to adapt one of my series for their growing lineup of English language releases. And they wanted to pay me! My gut reaction was that I was being pranked. Gradually though, they convinced me that they needed my help in establishing a beachhead in the Western market for their CG collections and H-games. At this point, I might have been drunk on the wine of flattery, or merely greedy. I did what I would later regret; I handed over the reins to one of my most cherished intellectual properties: Milk and Cookies.

Then I proceeded to forget all about it. There were few reminders. The money was all gone; squandered on a value meal from Subway. There was no further word from Studio MOMO.

That is, until today, when I received a padded envelope with postmarks from Chiba, Japan. Giddy with anticipation, I gave the packing material a Cesarean section, and gingerly removed my baby. The box art for the DVD-ROM looked just like I would have drawn it!

The style was dead-on, but the content was a bit puzzling. There was Andrea as a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix threatening a bound Jessica, who was suspended from the ceiling and wearing an abused looking sailor uniform. The tagline "huge boobs dungeon drive their love into madness" suggested that Studio MOMO had a very liberal interpretation of Milk and Cookies canon. Still, it could be interesting in a cute-meets-light-bondage sort of way. I popped the disc into my computer to find out more.

The format they went with was a narrated slideshow. I never really imagine character's voices, but I guess I wasn't expecting the womanly Jessica to sound like the prototypical plaintive, high-pitched little anime girl. Conversely, Andrea gets a deep, sultry milf voice that's very much at odds with her (initially) slight figure. I wish that was all there was to nitpick about, but there's much more.

Here's a synopsis of the way Milk! Milk! Go Harder! begins. Jess is the first to appear. In this universe, she's a high school student studying for exams. She lets in her English tutor, a petite redhead who we're familiar with as Andrea. Andrea quickly abandons her lesson plans, and begins teaching the hapless Jess phrases like "big blouse," "unhook bra," and hilariously, "chloroform soaked rag."

There. That's the whole thing in a nutshell. No friendship. No snowstorm that traps them together. No unrequited longing or tender feelings. Hell- the only time cookies are mentioned is on the logo, and despite the sizes their breasts reach, there is precious little milk involved!

Studio MOMO tries to replace these elements with abduction and a sexual servitude where the vilest acts imaginable demean not only their virtual victim, but the entire audience as well; a poor substitute indeed.

Milk! Milk! Go Harder!
PUBLISHER: Studio MOMO (2010)
RATING: ** (out of 5)
My advice is to skip buying this, and just wait for someone to post the .rar


anon on
...good lord.

UhOhSpaghettios on
Does your selling of the intellectual rights mean you can't do any more Milk and Cookies stories at all? Clearly a redemption is needed for one of your best series.

Bob on
InB4:

Downlaod likns ploz?

SirJimmy on
You remember a few years back, there was a Christmas "Milk + Cookies" pic, and naturally as always people were hoping that these girls would appear again some other Christmas.

WELL CHRISTMAS JUST COME EARLY THIS YEAR.

also anonymous on
owch... makes me wonder why they bothered buying something from you when they just BSed the whole thing anyways.

Strider on
Imagine an anime of the original version though...

Red Wolf on
nice Japanese feel to it, and Sexy as always :3

Epic Cookie on
My first thought was, 'wait, for real? What the fuh?'

CarnageJak on
How do your think of art, I think you should be on DEVIANTart Woot I'm a member and I think you would fit in :)

Darkib on
Excellent as per usual, Woot. A second on the Devart idea as well, there's a great community there, and I'm sure you would be welcomed.

Dragonfire on
This is a prank right? Theres no way a company could twist and pervert your work in such a way. I mean if u would actually sell ur work like that, u would put down guidelines to how much they could change.

woot on
Yes, this is all a parody. I wouldn't ship Milk and Cookies overseas for the price of a mere foot-long combo from Subway. I would have held out for the $50 Chipotle gift card :]

I'm not sure what I would post on DA. It'd just be a 3rd place to put stuff.

Rankodd on
The portrait of the girls on the upper left is sooo cute! =D

Shentosho on
I'm with the deviantart thing. Bit you guys are forgeting a crucial part, deviantart is nitpicky 'bout the whole milk idea. Meaning lactation = BANNED!

Dio on
Mother****ing win o__O
-dies-

Dio on
...I mean who would twist such a touching story!

O on
I hope people don't end up taking this too seriously.

???? on
Let that be a lesson to you, woot; never sign anything without your lawyer around first.

what-the? on
Anyone ever notice how Andrea looks a little like that girl from that old tic tac commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQTB-CnnTrw&feature=related
Maybe I'm backwards and the girl from the commercial looks like Andrea.
Which came first cookies or tic tac?

Somebody on
I just love the Engrish translations lol :3

Somebody on
Hmm, a woot h-game...?

I'll take 10 please

Djoser on
Those big corporations, milking the poor helpless brilliant authors out there...they make me sick XD specially when they underrate their own workd, lol!. No but seriously Even if this was such a low quality game...i'd get ir no matter what (if it existed :P). such amount of pervy cuteness :P

Melissa on
It doesn't appear to be April 1st...

Metatron on
My word woot. Your explanation seems to be that of a parent who has become disillusioned at the potential of their child.

Tetsaru on
HO-LY SHIT this is awesome... O_O

Please keep doing more Milk & Cookies/Tenfingers stuff! ^^

AHHHH!!! on
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! STOP TEASING US AND MAKE A GAME ALREADY!!! This is the second time you've brought the subject up. Why not go all the way? It doesn't have to be very long or complex. Heck, you could do a game like what Hatou, of the animal office, has been trying to make for so long.
http://yomogi.sakura.ne.jp/~hatou/hyper_txt/a_o_f001-5.html

anon on
Eeee, woot upgraded his style of breasts and wide hips/big butts on thinny girls.

The big, fat areolas really add to the shape and sexiness of their breasts.

If woot can make a bunch of money off of this that'd be badass, but I just hope he always keeps his uhm, varied figures for all his girls. It'd be bad if he sold out and only did one kind of shape, like so many popular artists on deviant art do.

Somebody on
Oh woops, I guess woot wasn't really happy about this.

But for real woot, I seriously thought it was your art, and in fact you should totally do figures just like that P:

And don't worry about them the way they interpreted your story so liberally. They wanted a short and simple porn VN for easy money.

Some what bigger named studios are the ones that can have (well thought out), somewhat lengthy stories like yours. The company you speak of sounds like this was their first game ever. Maybe if they do a few more and make some decent money off of it, they'll be able to do it justice in your eyes.

And really woot, it's really cute either way. I'm sure the fans would be happy with either version. Theirs or yours.

Miss Selainie on
Wow... you say it so plausibly, even when I *knew* it was a joke I still had doubts. Please never use your powers for evil, that's all I ask. ^_^

Incidentally, "Windows XD" is hilarious. ^_^

woot on
Just to clarify, this is all fictional. Sorry for any persisting confusion! :]

My goal was to re-create the look of a typical ad for an H-game (the outlined type, crowded layout, lots of colors). I also wanted to re-create the feeling you get when one lures you in with the promise of being awesome, but the contents are mostly off-putting for one reason or another. To better accomplish that, I figured I'd start with one of my better known series and twist it a bit. Then I'd do the story portion in the form of a review.

4morian5 on
Dude, don't scare us like that. That is fairly convincing. I, for one, would hate to see you creations mangled by corporate greed. The majority of the stuff displayed here you would probably never want to draw, I think (bondage, whips, torture, warlord hats with skulls), but maybe you could come up with an excuse to show more hanging boobs, or ariel boob shots. It would be nice to see boobs, or any other part of a girl, from new angles.

Bob on
Well, couldn't you just redo the review so it would be five stars instead of two then? It's YOUR work, after all.

Yuka Takeuchi Fan on
Hah! Yeah, hentai these days IS typically about as warm-hearted as a mass murder, ain't it? I mean, what the hell happened to it all since the late '90s?

Gotta love your attention to detail when you go all-out like this; keep it up.

SirJimmy on
@4morian5: Bondage, whips and light S&M is something Woot *has* drawn before... plus if he didn't want to draw it, I don't think he'd draw it here even in parody... :P

I dunno. It seems to me that the comedy in this pic + story went right over most people's heads. Maybe I'm just cynical.

topguy on
Is there a text free version?

Mr.Grimm on
I do enjoy Andrea's expression on her face as well as the body you have given her woot. Maybe in the future do a picture of her in this outfit and body shape as her by herself possibly?

McSteel on
That's some big ones.
Nice details with the zipper. ^^

Izludious on
Man... if this really happened I'd be forced to kill you. I'd bludgeon you to death with a wooden spoon. I mean, I love that series not only for the contents but because I love the characters too.

If you were to actually make a sequel you'd make me very happy and I'd love you forever, though that's probably not happening anytime soon.

Izludious on
On another note, the belts on her nipples are a nice touch. I'll bet the pressure's really building in there...

CountMontivan on
Is this... real?

If so, please e-mail me, as I must know if this a joke or not.

Rachelle on
I usually do not drop a lot of remarks, however I read a bunch of responses on Woot's Gallery. I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you do not mind. Is it just me or do a few of the comments appear like they are written by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are posting on other online social sites, I'd like to keep up with you. Would you list of every one of all your social community pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

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