Love Hurts

Love Hurts
The shot went wide, pierced a cheeseburger platter two tables away rather than the beating heart of her quarry. The man didn't even blink, didn't even look up at the waitress who stopped by to return his credit card.

Miles above, Cupid nocked another arrow, grumbling about crosswinds.

A golden shaft sprouted in a wall decoration of the United States cobbled together out of different licence plates. Her last-chance shot missed the heart by only a few feet this time. Meanwhile, he was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what 15% of $11.74 was, and could only manage a muffled thanks to the waitress.

Cupid threw down her golden recurve bow in disgust and yelled, as if her target could possibly hear her. "A little help? She was flirting with you and you just hid behind your menu like it was a castle wall. Just fucking talk to her, you big, stupid, dumb, stupid idiot!"

His pathetic response was as hopeless as her marksmanship. She had to hold the bow further and further away from her body lest the string rasp against her slowly increasing bust. It was an awkward position that made accurate shots impossible. Cupid cradled her precious breasts in her arms, kissed their upper slopes, cooed "It's not your fault, my sweets, it's all because of that." She aimed a venom-laden glance at the bow still lying on a nearby cloud.

The other gods called it iconic, but Cupid just saw the bow as a corny anachronism. If Mercury did all his messaging over his smartphone, why was she saddled with a two-thousand-year-old piece of military hardware? She needed something flashy, new, something with stopping power, preferably something with a high rate of fire considering there was almost seven billion people teeming in the world below.

Cupid lazily scratched some blueprints into a cloud with the head of one of her golden arrows. Ooh, that would do nicely. Now to get it fabricated. She plucked her phone from her cleavage and rang Vulcan.

"Hey there, hot stuff. Busy?"


Anonymous on
Pfffff-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, man, that face!
This is awesome, Woot.

Shentosho on
EPIC!!!!!
Now that's my kind of Cupid!

Somebody on
Looooove hurts.
Looooove scars.
Looooove wounds aaaand mars!

Melissa on
I AM BULLETPROOOOOOOOOF

Strider on
I officially love you

..as a friend :3

...who I've never met...This is just Gold

Ulvrik on
Wonderful!!!

SirJimmy on
Thanks for the pic, and thanks for the Pot Noodle! AAAARG TIKKA MASALA FLAVOUR *gurgle choke faint*

ElJorro on
Great!!

Anonymous on
The facial expression of sadistic, maniacal glee definitely makes it. Glad to see you're still alive. I'll buy you a drink if we're ever able to identify each other IRL and in the same general vicinity.

Zach on
NOW IS COWARD-LOVING TIME!

Taking a technological cue from the Heavy of TF2, Cupid has decided that we should make love, not war. Using the newest tools of war.

Anonymous #2 on
IS GOOD TIME TO RUN, COWARD!

P1_Gdude on
@Melissa
This time baby ill beeeee, BULLETPROOOOOOOOOOOFFFF!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUsbpmQ9-mc

Fr0stfall on
Bring on THE PAIN!!

What on
I was thinking about the same song somebody XD

Bob on
I...uh...can't think of anything witty for V-Day.

P1_Gdude on
Just Think what she could do in a Viking!!! (it a plane from starcraft 2 that turns into a mech)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5nqK-19Ncs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwPLRo1FBns

Mr. Stache on
This will hurt a lot.

Bestthe on
Love the Psychotic look on her face. Priceless. XD

Habby Weapons Man on
MORE RUBBLE, LESS TROUBLE

Someone on
omg Roman mythology used correctly AND sexyness...
Veni.
:D

Nack on
DON'T RUN, IT'S JUST LOVE

Himax on
Feel the love.

LakeHylia & Stacky on
Wait, what? No "welcome back Woot" or "We missed you Woot, thanks for the new picture"? Just loads of TF2 jokes? I swear you guys only like him for his art...

Bob on
Now I know something witty! We need that weapon in RE5! Turn your enemies into lovers!

...that came out wrong.

fadingspy on
They do say love hurts.

Jerkface on
Look it wasn't my fault, I was low on cash and had to make sure I balanced the budget. I WASN'T PREPARED FOR HER TO BE THAT CUTE AND FRIENDLY.

Yvonne on
And once again... Woot makes with the awesome. TF2 jokes aside (everyone beat me to them) this is well worth the wait. A little sexiness, a little humor, and the kind of fun you can only expect from yet another spur-of-the-moment OC by Woot. Kudos to you, good sir, and you keep doing this for as long as it's fun for you.

-Yiv

fleek on
Yes, back and totally insane!

MadMoogle on
good too see you're alive after all^^ welcome back :3
oh..and cute picture,btw x3

Dragonfire on
Well since no one has said anything besides TF2 jokes, welcome back Woot!! How was the vacation? Is it just me or did Cupid go crazy? She has that weird berserk, maniacal look and her new tool is a handheld machine-gun. Love hurts, but isn't Cupid taking things a wee bit to far?

Anonymous on
Where the bawlz have you been Woot

Koganusan on
SO! MUCH! LOVE!

SirJimmy on
@LakeHylia & Stacky: No, that's actually a good point, especially after how so many of us bemoaned woot's absence on the last pic. If I may say to woot on a personal level... where the damned blazes have you been, you neglectful little shit? >:[

(disclaimer: all in good humour, you understand!)

Michael on
Jesus Christ that is the best facial expression I have ever seen

BalloonPrincess on
Sexy badnews bitch for the win! :)

Shentosho on
God I'm a Jackass! I can't believe I didn't even THINK to say "Welcome back" or anything similar.

Anyway... This is way far too late but, Welcome back Woot and glad you're not dead!..... Okay, I'll just shut up now... *Whack*

CarnageJak on
※∞Love each piece as much as I love boobs, if these babes were real I would love to meet each one.∞※

Somebody on
pretty funny valentine. i just gotta ask though whats the name of your deviant page at deviant art again? i cant find it at all, i was thinking of saving you to my watch list since i like your art a lot.

Kita on
Had I checked the site earlier, I'd have had a more timely "Welcome Back," but seeing as I did not, Woot! Welcome Back Woot! I missed you and your fantastic works.

Anonymous on
Pic is sweet.

Not big surprise.

Michael on
"She plucked her phone from her cleavage and rang Vulcan"

Vulcan? As in Vulcan Raven from Metal Gear Solid?

God you are awesome

anon on
Michael: No, that's Vulcan, as in the Roman god of the forge.

lurker man! on
anon: Double entendre for the M61 Vulcan as well.
Delicious irony for the gun nerds. :D

Fez on
... Somethin' really nice about how ya drew her outfit, looks both loose yet shaped up on her. Granted, its only the bottom but such skimpiness works with the badass attitude and that gun... and that expression ^^

anon on
Quick! I need sandviches for bribes!

Comments are closed.