When Hans the traveling bard was caught poaching pheasants on the Miller's land, he was brought in chains to the center of the village to hear his sentence.
The Mayor leafed through a musty tome of law and spoke aloud. "In cases of poaching, the punishment will be decided by the landowner: Olaf Grune the Miller."
Upon hearing the Mayor's words, the gruff miller gave a grim smile. "This man will take my daughter's hand in marriage. But to show that I am fair and have pity on the poor vagabond, he will receive only half the promised dowry."
The paperwork was drawn, official seals stamped, and the deed was done. Even half the dowry was more silver than Hans saw in a year. It made him wonder what kind of daughter would need such an incentive to be given away. He asked around the village but found no straight answer. Some said she was covered head to toe in boils, others had heard she was hideously deformed. One boy swore she breathed fire and dined on rats. In any case, Hans was apprehensive about marriage so early in life. As a bard singing for coin in alehouses, dallying with the barmaids would be sorely missed.
So with a heavy heart, Hans traveled back to the Miller's house to meet the girl named Lia.
"There she is boy, go to her. I want you two off my land by sunset."
Hans looked to where the Miller was pointing. There was a slim girl with long wavy golden hair slowly walking away from the pair towards the silos. She was toiling under the cruel weight of two large sacks of grain. Hans thought the Miller a hateful man to set his lovely daughter to work hauling more than most men could bear.
Olaf shouted at her. "Lia! Turn around and look upon your new husband. A traveling song-singer without the experience of a day's honest labor, but you should be glad I found anyone at all."
Lia spun around. Her face was radiant, with bright green eyes that looked distrustfully at her father. She raised her hands to block the sunlight to get a better view of Hans. That's when he realized that she wasn't carrying any grain sacks. There riding proudly on her chest were the largest pair of breasts in the nine kingdoms. The neckline of her white blouse plunged perilously low revealing two lovely jiggling hemispheres of soft flesh. She was not covered in boils and Hans doubted she breathed fire.
After gathering the girl's meager possessions, the newlyweds started down the well worn road towards the capital. Away from the drudgery and abuse of her father's mill, Lia's smile returned after many years of disuse. In a wildflower dotted meadow he sung for her as she laid in the dewy grass.
You know, It Kinda makes you wonder WHY she dindin't have a line of suters go to the nereist sea... Or a prince... I mean, miller's daughter or not, what self-respecting ,heterosexual guy WULDEN'T chace her?
The Mayor leafed through a musty tome of law and spoke aloud. "In cases of poaching, the punishment will be decided by the landowner: Olaf Grune the Miller."
Upon hearing the Mayor's words, the gruff miller gave a grim smile. "This man will take my daughter's hand in marriage. But to show that I am fair and have pity on the poor vagabond, he will receive only half the promised dowry."
The paperwork was drawn, official seals stamped, and the deed was done. Even half the dowry was more silver than Hans saw in a year. It made him wonder what kind of daughter would need such an incentive to be given away. He asked around the village but found no straight answer. Some said she was covered head to toe in boils, others had heard she was hideously deformed. One boy swore she breathed fire and dined on rats. In any case, Hans was apprehensive about marriage so early in life. As a bard singing for coin in alehouses, dallying with the barmaids would be sorely missed.
So with a heavy heart, Hans traveled back to the Miller's house to meet the girl named Lia.
"There she is boy, go to her. I want you two off my land by sunset."
Hans looked to where the Miller was pointing. There was a slim girl with long wavy golden hair slowly walking away from the pair towards the silos. She was toiling under the cruel weight of two large sacks of grain. Hans thought the Miller a hateful man to set his lovely daughter to work hauling more than most men could bear.
Olaf shouted at her. "Lia! Turn around and look upon your new husband. A traveling song-singer without the experience of a day's honest labor, but you should be glad I found anyone at all."
Lia spun around. Her face was radiant, with bright green eyes that looked distrustfully at her father. She raised her hands to block the sunlight to get a better view of Hans. That's when he realized that she wasn't carrying any grain sacks. There riding proudly on her chest were the largest pair of breasts in the nine kingdoms. The neckline of her white blouse plunged perilously low revealing two lovely jiggling hemispheres of soft flesh. She was not covered in boils and Hans doubted she breathed fire.
After gathering the girl's meager possessions, the newlyweds started down the well worn road towards the capital. Away from the drudgery and abuse of her father's mill, Lia's smile returned after many years of disuse. In a wildflower dotted meadow he sung for her as she laid in the dewy grass.